


There's No Buddy Like You, My Brother

by Huntchaser



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Chatlogs, Episode: s02e01 Brother, Episode: s02e13-14 Such Sweet Sorrow Parts 1-2, First Meetings, Gen, Goodbyes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stamets and Pike are trans fight me, Trans Christopher Pike, Trans Male Character, Trans Paul Stamets, Usage of book material but playing around with it, chosen family, i cried while writing chapter 5 and 6 just thought i'd let you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-07 03:24:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntchaser/pseuds/Huntchaser
Summary: “Brotherhood means I will always come for you no matter the cost. I promise you that, Paul.”"I'll hold you to that, Christopher."Alternatively: Five times Christopher Pike and Paul Stamets talked and one time they didn’t





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dianano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianano/gifts).



> I'd like to fully blame dianano for enabling me to write a fic about transgender Pike. I also blame one of the BTS pictures of Anson Mount in which it looks like he's wearing a nude binder under the Starfleet uniform. And finally, I blame myself because I love trans Stamets and Pike headcanons far too much and everyone can fight me.  
> Now that all the blame is pushed aside, yes, in this fic Stamets and Pike are close to the same age, only a few months apart. Yes, there will be romantic ships, but they aren’t the focus of the fic. And yes, it does follow the canon ending for season 2 so if you want to avoid those spoilers or avoid that ending in general, you'll want to skip the last chapter when it goes up.

He was 14 when he came out and changed his name. A pat on the head from one of his mothers, Hobelia, and a smile to say “finally we’ve got some testosterone on this ranch that’s not from the horses.” He’d spent weeks and months agonizing over his body and his mind until he had the courage to say something, but it had all been worth it. He was finally going to be himself.

A few days later, he pulled on his other mother’s pant legs while she was walking by the couch he was lounging on. “Momma?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can we go buy me some boy clothes?”

“Of course, baby,” Willa smiled at her son and wrapped him up in a hug. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

Pike just stayed curl against his mother as she hugged him, head resting against her shoulder. “And a haircut? And a binder? And…”

Willa laughed and ruffled his hair. “Mhm. We can get you anything you want, baby,” she looked at the young boy and cupped his cheek. “Have you thought of a name, sweetie?”

“A name?”

“Well, I assume you don’t wanna go by your old name anymore,” Willa smiled, pressing a kiss to his head. “Think about it, okay, buddy? You know we’ll help you if you want but it’s all on you.”

The boy beamed and spent the next few days picking out a new name. “No… Not Richard. That would mean they’d call me Dick at school… Maybe my middle name,” his hands hovered over the keyboard of his PADD and he sighed. One of his teachers at school had told him that there were websites for people who needed help picking their new names. The young Pike did a quick search and well enough he found one, creating an account and posting on the forum. Within minutes he got a new message.

 

**[PaleFungi]** Hey! I saw your post! I’m pretty new here too and I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but I really like your name choices.

 

Pike felt his hand shaking as he replied. He wasn’t expecting anyone to reply to his post so fast. He took a deep breath and typed out a quick reply.

 

**[CowboiBabey]** Oh! Uh, thank you!

**[CowboiBabey]** Are you still picking yours too?

**[PaleFungi]** Mhm! I’m stuck between a few too, but maybe we can help each other out!

**[CowboiBabey]** Yeah. That sounds awesome.

**[CowboyBabey]** What should I call you for now?

**[PaleFungi]** Oh… Hmm… I really like Ethan right now.

**[CowboiBabey]** Ethan. It means strong. Hebrew, right?

**[PaleFungi]** Damn, you did your research. Yeah, I’m Jewish so I thought it would work well.

**[CowboiBabey]** Oh! That makes sense! I like Richard but mostly for a middle name.

**[PaleFungi]** Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be called Dick either. Though Dick Grayson from the Batman comics is really cool.

**[CowboiBaby]** Wanna call me Richard then?

**[PaleFungi]** Sure! Nice to meet you Richard!

**[CowboiBabey]** Nice to meet you too, Ethan.

 

Pike smiled, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He already found a new friend. For the next few weeks, they’d talked it out, learned a bit more about each other. Talked about names, their meanings, life, transitions, and how boring school was. Well, Pike thought school was boring but Ethan seemed to love it. Pike didn’t mind though, he really enjoyed having the nerdy boy as his friend. Then one day it hit him.

 

**[CowboiBabey]** Hey Ethan!

**[PaleFungi]** Sup?

**[CowboiBabey]** I think I found my name.

**[PaleFungi]** Oh? What is it?

**[CowboiBabey]** Christopher!

**[PaleFungi]** Oh! Christopher Richard!

**[PaleFungi]** I like that!

**[PaleFungi]** Well nice to meet you Chris!

**[CowboiBabey]** Hold on, Momma’s calling me

**[CowboiBabey]** brb dude

 

“Momma! I’m coming!” Chris slid down the banister of the stairs and smiled. “I found it!” Then he saw his father and stopped. “D--Dad. H--Hi. Uh… I’ll… Go back upstairs.”

“It’s okay, buddy, come here,” Willa patted the seat next to her on the couch and smiled at him. “We were just talking to your father about what you’ve told us.”

“Oh uh…”

“Don’t worry, we didn’t tell him anything about much. We had just started talking,” Willa rubbed Pike’s back as he sat down, looking at his father with wide blue, and slightly scared eyes. “Did you want to tell him?”

Pike was shaking, what would Ethan do? He’d say it, Ethan had always said be bold and Pike knew he had to be in this moment. “My name is Christopher Richard Pike and I’m a boy, Dad.” Willa and Hobelia smiled wide when they heard Chris say his name for the first time. But Charlie looked slightly disappointed and Chris’ heart sunk. His voice came out as barely more than a whisper as he stared at his father. “Dad?”

Charlie just snorted. “Alright. Thank you for telling me,” he said, looking at Chris’ mothers with a soft glance, Chris wasn’t sure what the feeling was but he thought it was anxiety, before hardening his expression. “I need to head back to my ship,” he looked at Chris one more time and sighed. “Call me if you need me, son.”

Chris never called. 


	2. Chapter 2

Almost a year had passed since Chris had come out to his father. Ethan had found a first name, Paul, after one of his favorite classical musicians Paul McCartney. He’d said his uncle helped him chose the name. They’d both started testosterone and gotten their names legally changed. Life was great.

Then Paul had gone oddly quiet for a few days and Chris couldn’t help but worry. He’d tried over and over to message him again but nothing came from it. 

 

**[CowboiBabey]** Paul?

**[CowboiBabey]** Did I do something? 

**[CowboiBabey]** Are you mad at me?

 

He’d started to worry about his friend, unsure what would have caused the other boy to go so quiet. Chris stared at his PADD, always keeping it close by just in case Paul did decide to message him back. He tried to distract himself best he could by riding Tango, doing his chores and homework, and going to see his doctor to do regular checks of his testosterone levels. Paul was always on the back of his mind, he just kept hoping and hoping that his friend would be okay.

Then his PADD lit up after a week.

 

**[PaleFungi]** Hey. 

**[CowboiBabey]** Paul!! 

**[CowboiBabey]** Oh my god are you okay?

**[CowboiBabey]** I was worried!! 

**[PaleFungi]** I… Uh…

**[PaleFungi]** My boyfriend broke up with me. Sorry. I didn’t want to bother you with that. 

 

Chris sighed softly, he wished he could be there to comfort Paul. 

 

**[CowboiBabey]** I’m sorry. 

**[PaleFungi]** Not your fault. 

**[PaleFungi]** I’m sorry I scared you. 

**[CowboiBabey]** Don’t worry, I’m glad you’re not hurt or anything. 

**[PaleFungi]** Hey uh… This sounds weird but…

**[PaleFungi]** Do you maybe wanna meet up sometime?

 

Chris was surprised, he’d never thought about it. Yeah, it would be nice to meet Paul but… Well, there wasn’t anything to be worried about as long as his moms and Paul’s parents were there, right?

 

**[PaleFungi]** Chris?

**[PaulFungi]** I didn’t mean to scare you off I’m sorry!!

**[CowboiBabey]** I was just thinking about it!! 

**[CowboiBabey]** You live on Earth, right?

**[PaleFungi]** Yeah. In Oregon. 

**[CowboiBabey]** Oh! I’m from California! How about we meet halfway?

**[CowboiBabey]** As long as my moms can come. 

**[PaleFungi]** Sounds like a plan Chris

**[PaleFungi]** :)

**[CowboiBabey]** We have to plan this legit tho.

**[PaleFungi]** I know!! We can go to the aquarium in SF?? 

**[PaleFungi]** I’ve never been to San Francisco before!!

**[CowboiBabey]** Oh you’ll love it!! We could go to the ferry building!! There’s a cool mushroom place!! You’ll love it!!

 

Chris kept messaging Paul about their upcoming trip as much as he could, he was excited to meet his friend for real. He had also been more than surprised when his moms said he could go to San Francisco, there was only one condition to it. They did have to be there, but they also had to go see his father, which Chris was less than excited about. 

“But do I have to?”

“Yes, Chris, he’s being transferred to the Academy in San Francisco for a few months,” Willa said, putting another serving of mashed potatoes on Chris’s plate. “And he’s been asking to see you.” 

“Mom,” he groaned, looking at Hobelia with puppy eyes. “Do I have to?”

Hobelia nodded. “Don’t argue with your mother, Christopher,” she stabbed her salad with a fork and sighed. “It was part of our agreement when we asked him to be your father. Besides, it’s only dinner. You can spend the rest of your time with Paul. We talked to his mom and dad and we’re gonna be staying in the same hotel. We booked you boys a room separate from ours because we know you’re gonna want your man time.”

Chris’s eyes lit up. “Really? Just me and Paul?” 

Hobelia nodded. “As long as we get status updates and see you both for at least one meal, I don't see why not?”

“Now eat, you’re a growing boy,” Willa said, dropping another cob of corn on Chris’s plate. “I swear you’d eat Tango if we didn’t feed you because of how hungry you are.”

Chris smiled wide and scooped the mashed potatoes into his mouth as he spoke. “I wouldn’t eat Tango! He’s the best horse we got!”


	3. Chapter 3

If you asked Christopher Pike the first thing he remembered about Paul Stamets it wouldn’t be the grumpy attitude or the deep love of mushrooms. No, it would be the bone-crushing hug he’d gotten the first time they met when they were sixteen and at the shuttle station in San Francisco. 

“Chris!” Paul’s voice was the first thing Chris had registered about the other boy followed by the squeezing of his chest and the flash of almost white blond hair. The other boy pulled away with a large toothy grin and looked at Chris. “Sorry, I got really excited.”

Chris just laughed, he was more than happy to see his best friend. “It’s okay, Paul,” he could barely hold back his smile as he shook the other’s hand. “Nice to meet you in person, Paul Ethan Stamets.”

“Nice to meet you in person too, Christopher Richard Pike,” Paul’s blue eyes sparkled with excitement as he looked at Chris. “Wow… I never thought it would happen.”

“Paulie!” A woman’s voice cut through the crowd and Paul turned to look back. “You can’t just run off I know you’re 16 but--” She stopped when she saw Chris and Paul. “You must be Christopher, right?” When Chris took a good look at her, he could see where Paul had gotten his blond hair from as well as his loud personality. 

“Yes, ma’am, Mrs. Stamets. My name’s Christopher Pike,” he offered his hand for her to shake and then he heard a groan from behind her. He tilted his head a bit and saw a girl on her phone behind Paul’s mom, headphones on and all attitude from the looks of it.

“Mom, can we go to the hotel, please?” She huffed.

“Scout, can you wait a second?” Paul’s mother sighed. “Your father is getting our bags and finding a car to the hotel. Why don’t you go with him?” She looked at her daughter and started lecturing her for being impatient and Paul just sighed. 

“Sorry, they’re always like this,” he said softly, leaning into his friend. “Where're your moms?”

“Finding the car with our name on it. I have to go see Dad tonight,” he sighed softly, smiling a bit at Paul. “But I’ll see you at the hotel tonight, I promise.”

“I’ll have ice cream and a pillow fight waiting for you!” Paul beamed. He looked at Chris with a soft smile and squeezed his friend’s arm. “But you also probably aren’t dressed up enough for dinner so that means you have to come back to the hotel with us.” 

“Chris!” The Californian boy turned around to look at Willa, she was waving at him. “We found the car!” 

“Momma! Can Paul come with us?” Chris called back, bouncing on his heels. 

“Paul!” Erika Stamets called for her son and he sighed. 

“Ten minutes. I’ll see you in ten minutes, Chris.” Paul held his pinkie up and smiled. “Pinkie promise.”

Chris wrapped his pinkie around Paul’s and smiled. “Pinkie promise, brother.” They shared a quick hug before following after their own mothers, texting each other the whole way. When they got to the hotel, Paul and Chris were immediately back to being at each other’s hips again, refusing to seperate from each other as they checked in and headed to their room away from their families. 

Paul pushed open the door to their hotel room after swiping the key card. He stepped inside and dropped his bag by the door as he ran around the room to check out what they had. 

“Oh my god Chris there’s a tub with jets in here!” He called from the bathroom. The blond head peeked out of the bathroom to look for Chris. “Chris?”

Pike had found himself at the window, looking at how close their hotel was to Starfleet Academy. He nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his back and sighed when he looked to see it was only Paul. 

“Sorry… I was thinking about how Dad wants me to go into Starfleet even though… he’s not really in my life.” Chris mumbled, smiling weakly at Paul and looking back to the window. He could see the Golden Gate on one side of the window and the Academy right below them. He let out a sigh and turned around to look at Paul. “But, I’ll think about that tonight. For now, it’s bro time. First thing we should do,” Chris said, diving into his backpack and pulling out his PADD. “A picture! To commemorate a meeting of the two greatest people I know.”

Paul nodded and got close to Chris, smiling wide. “Cheese!” He smiled, looking at his best friend and laughed. 

Chris snapped the photo and laughed, pulling Paul in for a big hug. He let out a sigh of relief as he hugged Paul. “I love you, bro.”

Paul hugged the taller boy back, pressing his face into Chris’ shoulder. “I love you too, dude.” They stayed in that embrace for a moment before pulling away and looking at their discarded bags. “You need help getting ready for tonight?”

The dark haired boy nodded. “I need to iron my shirt and pants but that’s it,” then he paused, crinkling his nose a bit in thought. “You know how to tie a tie?”  

“Nah, but we can learn together,” Paul said, sitting on the bed and taking the PADD into his hands. “I like this picture. Can I post it on my social media feed?”

“Sure, as long as I can post it on mine,” Pike said, flopping down next to Paul. “Because I want to remember this day forever.”

“Me too, Chris. Me too.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Captain Pike,” Saru’s voice broke Pike out of his thoughts. “I believe you have a meeting with your senior staff in the conference room?” The Kelpien made a click like sound after speaking, his hand resting on his hip.

Chris nodded and stood up, started towards the turbolift. “Thank you Mister Saru. You have the conn,” he announced as the lift doors closed. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what he could about the crew manifest but one name always stuck out to him. Paul Stamets. There was no way in hell there would be a different Paul Stamets on the _Discovery_ , a ship whose mission was classified and had a mushroom propelled super network. Right? He remembered the letter he’d gotten from Scout saying Paul had been killed in the line of duty. Paul was safe now, right? This was the _Discovery_ and she seemed in tip-top shape. He couldn’t say the same about his own ship, though. 

“Chris?” The familiar voice snapped Pike out of his thoughts and he opened his eyes to see the familiar blond hair and blue eyes. 

Paul Stamets’ familiar face was smiling at him, eyes still sparkling like the last time Chris had seen him. That was as he was saying good night and heading out from a Starfleet ball. Paul had been invited as Dr. Culber’s plus one, he hadn’t yet enlisted and the _Discovery_ wasn’t even a thought yet. It was five years ago at this point. Then he’d been assigned the five-year mission and constantly messaged Paul, but when his ship got pulled into Pergamum nebula he’d lost all contact. That was right around when the Klingon War started. Then when they managed to get a connection with Starfleet again, he’d heard about the destruction of the _Discovery_ and nine months later, it’s miraculous return from wherever it had been. 

“Paul,” Chris’ voice was shaky as he reached out and pulled the scientist into a hug. “Oh my god, you’re okay.”

“Y--yeah! I’m--” Paul was in shock at seeing his friend again. Sure, he’d heard Bryce read the transmission on the bridge but he didn’t know Pike would be staying with them for the time being. “It’s good to see you okay, buddy.”

They stayed in the tight embrace for a moment before Pike forced himself to pull away. “I… I heard about what happened. I’m so sorry, Paul,” Chris held his friend’s hands for a moment before letting go of them. 

“It’s fine, Chris, nothing you could have done,” Paul forced himself to smile and looked at his friend in the bright yellow uniform. “Still with Una?”

Pike nodded and laughed. “If you mean she’s still kicking my ass every time we spar and then kissing it all better, then yeah,” Chris’ hand came up to rest on Paul’s cheek and he smiled. “I was scared shitless, dude. I thought you were dead for like… nine months.”

Paul usually didn’t let people touch him and Pike knew this, but he must have needed the consolation after everything that happened. “I’m okay, Chris. Just… missing Hugh. You know?” Paul pulled his head away from Pike’s hand and shrugged. “Hey but… Heard you’re the captain of _Discovery_ now. That’s pretty cool.”

Chris wanted to talk to Paul about Hugh a bit more, especially because it looked like he just needed a friend but for now, he would change topics like Paul wanted. “Yeah. I heard you got top too. Wait… You told me that. I’m sorry I couldn’t come to visit while you were in the hospital recovering, debriefings and stuff.”

The lift stopped and the two stepped out, headed to the conference room. “It’s fine, really. Mister hotshot captain is just too busy to see his best friend?” Paul teased, gently nudging Pike in the ribs. 

“Yeah, yeah, you got me.” Chris laughed and looked back to the shorter man, seeing the energy so clearly drained from Paul’s face and how much more visible the grey hairs were on his temples. “How about tonight we have a drink or something? You look like you could use one, Paul.”

Narrowly avoiding bumping into a jogging crew member, Paul shrugged. “Sure, I have some good stuff in my quarters. Maybe I’ll bring it by yours?” The scientist stepped into the conference room and noticed that only Pollard was there. “Hey Tracy,” he said weakly, nodding in acknowledgment of the doctor in the room. 

Pike smiled at the brief interaction with the doctor. Paul wasn’t so shy anymore, maybe just as grumpy as he remembered him, but at least it seemed like he’d found friends on the _Discovery_. Some of the other senior officers flooded in and Pike knew he had to start the meeting, patting Paul on the back as a way to say they would talk more later. 

By the time he saw Paul again that night, the other man had rumpled hair and blue eyes more tired than when he’d seen him earlier in the day. Paul had come into his quarters and just flopped down on the bed with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. “Here’s your booze,” he grumbled into the soft quilt Chris had replicated. 

Chris laughed softly and took it from Paul, pouring two glasses and setting them on the bedside table, lying next to Paul. “I missed you, asshole.”

“I missed you too, dick,” Stamets rolled on to his side and only then noticed that Pike was in nothing but workout shorts and a black tank top. “How're your scars lookin’ thirty years later?”

“Almost faded,” Pike pulled up his shirt showed off the scars, the ones that were basically gone. “See? Show me yours now, Paul.”

Paul laughed softly and looked at Chris. “What is it with you and asking to see all of my shit always?” He sat up and pulled off the t-shirt he was wearing, exposing the still pretty new scars. “I’m taking care of them like Pollard said but, man, it feels so good. I almost fell over when I tried to walk after the surgery. My center of balance changed,” he closed his eyes and fell back against the bed. “Hand me my drink, Christopher Dick.”

“Gladly, Paul,” Pike laughed and grabbed the two crystal glasses, giving one to Paul. “Cheers. To top surgery and near death experiences.”

Paul tapped their glasses together and took a long drink. “Amen to that.”


	5. Chapter 5

Christopher Pike didn’t cry. At least that’s what anyone on his bridge crew would tell you. Except now, now he was crying. Paul Stamets was standing across from him in his ready room watching Chris with saddened blue eyes, ready to leave and never come back.

The captain’s voice cracked as he spoke. “Paul--”

“Chris, I have to,” the lieutenant commander still stood a safe distance away from Pike. He didn’t want to find himself ready to collapse in on himself as he watched his friend, his brother of over 30 years, disappear from his grasp. 

Chris couldn’t keep his emotions in check at this moment, Paul could see the captain mask slip from his face and all that was left was the boy Paul had met all those years ago in that San Francisco shuttleport. The one who’d stared out on Starfleet Academy with an emptiness in his face. “No, you don’t, Paul,” Chris barely held back a sob and Paul, who stood watching, had never seen Chris like this in all their years together. He hadn’t even cried like this when Tango died, even though Pike had completely and utterly broken down when that happened. 

“Yes, I do. Someone needs to keep the Federation safe. Protect all sentient life.”

“Then let Michael do it. You don’t have to. Hugh’s coming with us… We could… we could be a family again.”

“Chris…”

“I’m not losing you. You’re my brother.”

Paul just stared at Chris, unsure of what to say. The mycologist suddenly felt like his emotions from the last few months were all leaving his system as he let out a sob and moved close to Chris to wrap his arms around him. 

Chris and Paul stood in silence for a few moments locked in a tight hug, soft sobs the only thing exchanged between them. 30 years of friendship and now it would be all gone in less than a heartbeat. Through loss and sorrow, triumphs and victories, they’d been through it all together. Starting testosterone, that fated day in San Francisco, Chris’ broken arm when he fell off a horse during a rodeo, Paul’s doctoral thesis, Chris finally getting the nerves to ask out Leland and that break up during Chris’ academy years, Paul’s flops with the spore drive, Chris asking out Una, Paul getting the guts to flirt with Hugh, the Klingon War, and now the seven signals. Everything that defined them and everything that didn’t all hung in the air during this moment. 

“Don’t forget me,” Paul said softly into Pike’s yellow uniform, trying to wipe away the wet spot that was now there. It was no use, though, it wouldn’t come out like a stain, it would just dry and the feelings left there would remain.

Chris just chuckled and wiped his own eyes, pulling out the Discovery badge that donned the borrowed uniform he had and pressed it into Paul’s palm. “Never, Paul.”

Paul just stared at the badge and turned it over, seeing the all too familiar information of Christopher Richard Pike on the back. Then he removed his own and slipped it into Pike’s hand, smiling at him. “I won’t ever forget you, Chris. And tell your moms I love them. Tell my mom and my dad and Scout I love them too.”

“I will. I promise,” he reached out and gently ruffled Paul’s hair, enjoying the feeling of the soft blond hair under his fingertips for one last time. “And you remind this crew every day I will be waiting for when we all see each other again.”

Paul laughed and hiccuped, the tears rolling down his face again. “I promise, Chris. I promise I won’t ever let anyone of us forget you,” his hands came up to Chris’ face and he just held it, examining every last detail down to the wrinkles under his eyes when he smiled and the grey that had all but too quickly come into his hair. “You’re my brother. How could I forget my brother?”

“I don’t think I ever could even if they wiped my memories,” Chris mumbled through a shaky jaw. “Walk me to the transporter room? It’s on the way to engineering. And maybe we should replicate you a new badge real quick too.”

Paul nodded and slipped Chris’ Starfleet badge into his pocket, watching as Chris did the same with his badge. He moved to the replicator in the ready room and made a new badge and Chris couldn’t help but watch for a moment before starting to type something out on a PADD  and setting it on the table when Paul turned back around. 

“Ready to go?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

The walk to the transporter room was quiet amongst all the chaos on the ship and Chris could see the silent sadness in Paul’s face. One he knew all too well. 

Then Paul stopped. “I can’t do it.”

“Paul?” 

“I can’t… watch you beam away, Chris. I…” The mycologist took a deep breath and sighed. “It means I’ll never see you again.”

Chris nodded in understanding, offering his hand to Paul. “It’ll be see you later then.”

“See you later, then,” Paul just took Pike’s hand and shook it, pulling him in for one last hug and squeezed him as tight as he could.

If anyone was listening, Pike didn't care as he whispered to Paul in that embrace. 

“Brotherhood means I will always come for you no matter the cost. I promise you that, Paul.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Christopher.”


	6. Chapter 6

When Paul Ethan Stamets woke up, he wasn’t quite sure if he was dead or alive or in some strange mycelial hell. He wasn’t quite sure when he was of all things. Then Hugh had come over and pet his hair, placed a blanket over his bare chest, told him it would all be okay, and put him back under. Paul felt the weight of the Starfleet badge in his pocket and reached for it, gripping it tight. 

When he awoke again, the badge was still tight in his hand and Hugh was hovering over him. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” the doctor’s soft voice was accompanied by a gentle touch to his face. “We did it. We’re 930 years from where we were. Give or take a few days.” 

Forcing himself to sit up, Paul groaned in pain. He had to get to engineering to double check, to help Tilly with the temporal calculations. 

“Hey, hey,” Hugh gently pushed him back down and smiled. “You fucked up your chest,  _ seta _ . I had to fix your top surgery scars, they got ripped open when you got that chunk of metal to your chest. It barely missed your heart.” 

So Paul stayed there resting, in and out of sleep over the next few days. When Pollard finally released him to his quarters, he noticed how much of a mess the ship still was. Things were still sparking, debris and smoke still littered the halls of the starship. 

Paul settled down with his PADD in bed, trying his best to assist the best he could remotely. Tilly and Reno seemed to have it under control and mostly told him to get rest and stop being an idiot for trying to work. Paul then resorted to catching up on almost a thousand years of messages. Most of them seemed unimportant, then he noticed a few that seemed oddly important. 

 

-sent 2258-

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** Hey Paul. I’m glad you guys made it to the future safely. I don’t even know if you’ll get this message but it’s here. 

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** I’ll be dead for a long time by the time you see these, but I thought maybe… you’d like to be kept up on events back home. 

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** Even if you don’t legally exist anymore. 

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** Oh and your family sends their love and so do my moms and Una. We all miss you.

 

Paul couldn’t help but find his hands shaking as he looked at Chris’ messages. The tears bubbled up in his eyes again, he couldn’t believe how many messages Chris had sent him over the last 930 years. There had to be at least a few good thousand. And he’d been promoted to an admiral by the looks of it, too. That was his Chris, always pushing forward and achieving more and more. 

 

-sent 2259-

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** I asked Una to marry me today. She said yes! It only took seven proposals. Remember the first one? We were at Golden Gate Park and she said no! I was so embarrassed!

-sent 2260-

**[Admiral Pike, C.R.]** I got promoted to fleet captain today. It’s… not the same without you guys. I miss you and Hugh. I know it’s probably only been a few hours or days for you but… I hope you miss me too.

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** Una and I got married. We kinda just went to Commodore Dixon and asked her to do it. Just so you know, Spock took your place as my best man. Wish you’d been there, Una said I was bawling like a baby.

-sent 2261-

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** Guess what? I want you to meet your godson Ethan Michael Pike. He’s already a big boy even though he’s only a few hours old. I hope he makes you proud, because he’s already made me proud. 

**[Admiral Pike, C. R.]** Hey Paul, it’s Una. Chris is asleep right now but I just wanted to say I was thinking of you. We got a letter from Scout. Can you believe she and Laura finally adopted? Ethan’s gotten big and we talked about adopting a second kid. Chris loves kids, it’s crazy. He’s such a good dad. I hope the future is treating you well so far. Love, your favorite sister-in-law. 

 

Paul flipped through the messages, tears in his eyes. Chris had messaged him hundreds of times but these ones… They really stuck out to him more than the others of “hey don’t forget to take your t shot” or “hey bud just checking in. i miss you.” Chris had named his son after him and Michael, the two people he was aware Pike had hated losing. A daughter lost in Michael, a brother lost in himself.

“Paul?” The sudden sound of Hugh’s voice almost made him jump from where he was sitting on the bed shirtless, pale, and crying. Hugh almost immediately moved to wrap around Paul, to hold him close and make sure he was okay. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, babe,” the doctor soothed, wiping away Paul’s tears. “It’s okay to miss them.”

Paul felt his body shaking with sobs, leaning against his dear doctor and hoping that maybe, just maybe, there would be a way for him to see his chosen family again. “I wanna go home,” he sobbed into Hugh’s shoulder. 

“I know, baby, me too,” The other man rubbed Paul’s back and held him for a few minutes longer, allowing the mycologist to gather his emotions again. “I think I know how to help,” he gently helped Paul up from the bed and slipped a shirt over his head. He knew the mycologist wouldn’t be able to do much, but maybe something so simple could help. “No one’s cleared out Chris’ stuff from his quarters or his ready room and it shouldn’t be too much work, so I think we can go do that. Sound good?”

Paul nodded slowly. “Can we do his quarters? I don’t know if everyone is ready to see what he has in there.” 

“Of course, I think that ready room look might grow on Saru too, so we’ll just let that be for now,” Hugh agreed, pressing a soft kiss to Paul’s temple. 

They managed to slip into the captain’s quarters with relative ease and Paul sat on the bed, starting to pack up the things from his bed stand. Paul smiled at the photos on the night stand and picked up one of the frames, seeing the picture that he and Pike had taken on the first day they met and smiled. He slipped the picture out of the frame and turned it over, looking at the messy handwriting on the back.

_ Paul & me the first time we met. Always brothers no matter what.  _

“Always brothers. No matter where in time we are.”


End file.
